There is just too much going on for me to handle right now and I had a break down today. I am sick of people telling me that God will provide, that I should keep the faith, that things happen for a reason. I am sick of all the optimism. I am in pain and I need to be allowed to feel that pain. I am sick of people wanting me to put on a happy face!
Stupid Verizon didn't add our calling features on to the phone at our new home. Who the hell knows why it is so friggin' hard to transfer phone service. It should be a seamless transition from one home to another, but NO, they have to change plans and make things difficult and make it horrible.
Jason and I spent TWO HOURS on the phone with them today before finally deciding to tell them to take a hike. Then they said they couldn't do that, we'd have to talk to another department. OH MY GOD! In and of itself this would be annoying. Combined with all the other stuff that happened I just started sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. I couldn't stop.
Jason then pissed me off by saying he thought he needed to call for help. I have held up beautifully over the last three and a half weeks. I lost my baby, I lost my job, I moved to a new house and made all the preparations for it while dealing with grief and a husband who was out of town and I think I'm entitled to ten minutes of crying. So then I stopped crying and started yelling. Some days I honestly don't know what to do. Right now I just hate everything.
I want to be allowed to feel how I feel.
We will now be using Comcast Internet, phone and Digital Cable. Please welcome us to the 21st century! Pray that we have no issues because with my anger I may be ready for an in person visit to deal with it.
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